besides the camp (which will pass all too quickly i know), the only other thing that im gonna be spending loads of time on this june hols is mugging. holidays? oh, give me a break! thanks i came up with that myself. !!
after myas, i figured i could take just about any kind of setback now. give me a GPA of 2.8 for eoys and i wouldnt slide into depression any further because, like absolute zero, i've already been to the farthest end (maybe).
Now im starting to realise how so many people around me arent actually as nice as they seem (like great, now's SUCH a perfect time to know this), and sometimes the things they do or say (or dont do or dont say) have such a freezing effect. doesnt have to be them doing it to me, it's just who they are to everyone in general. freezing effect. let me explain that. it's when you know about something that people have done and it makes you so stunned in repulsion and disappointment and hurt, that all you can do is freeze-either physically, mentally or both. even the tears that were supposed to come out can only turn into ice. okay that's for extreme cases, but you get the idea. (by the way if you're wondering there's no such thing. i just coined the phrase for convenience's sake. lamezzzz)
jiayun told me once not to be so jaded. am i, now? hardly sixteen and already world-weary. shows you just what school does to you. or a certain elite girls' school, if you really want to know.
well and then sometimes certain people can really cheer you up. nah i aint gonna mention who. make your head big only. lawl.
yay camp's coming! im so glad i decided not to perform for sentio. no more performances for me this year. sabbath from dance, yes, not from school though. sigh okay enough about school. like i said, yay creative arts camp is coming! gonna be hanging out with the church people for four whole days how cool is that. and the darling kids. (: mmm some campers are in sec school though. dont matter. what's important is that we all have loads of smashing fun and learn to worship. i cant believe the band people, they get to have so many jamming sessions. !! i should've signed up to help with piano. but then, what do i know. haha. speaking of worshipping and jamming, i really miss doing those. stupid lazy me.
i really wonder how God can bring himself to love me. i know the whole point is that im undeserving, but that makes it all the more amazing doesnt it. even committing myself to ten minutes of prayer a day is hard, sigh. imagine a friend you meet up with very rarely. then one day you found out that friend was the CEO of a bank, and he had paid all the money you owed the bank, or something. wow.
"In the beginning was the Word. The Word was towards God, and Word was the God. He was towards the God in the beginning."
Chris and his Greek grammar lessons haha. Thanks man, you'll probably never see this but i've learnt so much from your bible study lessons. John has come so much alive for me. And so have the other books in fact. I've never studied the detail in every single word, every single story, so carefully before, when i read the bible. Now i understand how God's word has power, the same power of the Word that came from God's mouth in the creation of the world.
clara's birthday! stupid zhangwei and i havent decided what we're gonna do for her. too many ideas, too little decisions.
i think i sound slightly schizophrenic throughout the post. oh dear, someone call the doctor, oh dear.
i took a break;
6:55 AM
